Acceptance

"Some things are not meant to be..."

Remember the first time we met? I was too busy at school then.

I didn't expect someone to caught my attention that time. But you were there, just barely standing inside that busy room, you got me.

Yes. The first time I saw you, I know something was different.

Other than contacting me for picking up those forms, I was not expecting anything. I talked to you casually and exchanged numbers to follow up my concern on your school.

The following day gave me goose bumps. I didn't know what to do. I felt afraid that that will be the last time we will see and talk to each other again. You handed me those papers. My hands were shaking. "Thank you" were the last words that came out of my mouth. "Good luck" you said and gave me that smile that I will never forget. I felt happy even

though I don't know when or will we ever see each other again.

That same day, we became friends through a text message. We started talking about each other's school life, family, hobbies and anything under the sun for hours. Early messages from you brought me small joys every morning. Saying good night every evening gave me a good sleep. That lasted for days, weeks and months...

Until I found out you were already taken. It was like destiny's playing with us...... or just with me. But that didn't make me like you less. In fact, I was secretly loving you every day....

You were the first who made me feel this way. Someone's caring for you everyday, asking if you're doing great or just telling me that you're already at home and not to worry because of late night commute.

I know it was wrong.

I know want I wanted to have was impossible.

Someone's there waiting for you. And you were going back to her at the end of the day.

I set my mind not to love you even more but then, my heart resisted. So I decided to continue what I feel even though I know at the end, I was the one who'll be left behind.

When you broke up with her, you ask me to be beside you as a friend. I never gave any hesitations on saying 'yes'. Those days were the best -- late night phone calls, hanging out, walking under the heat of the sun just. I was wishing not to end this beautiful thing. This was the first time.....

Until you fell in love again... but not with me... "I am happy for you" I said. Behind those words are questions running on my mind "Is there something wrong with me?"...

I accepted the fact that we can't be more than what we are now.

But life must go on. This is just a part of my journey. A part that taught me to be strong. I must thank you for making me feel I was loved. Thank you for making me feel there was one person who cares for me.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm just here. Still your friend.

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