Completeness from being Incomplete

It was a rainy morning when a got a chance to talk to one of my office mate in our pantry. I was with a girl office mate then.

We started talking about love and relationships nowadays. Since I am not engaged to any relationship before, I got interested when he told us points on entering one someday.

Yes. I am proud to say -- I am 20. I am single. And I am happy.

We shared stories and viewpoints. Until he suggested a short story to read and ponder --- "The Missing Piece" by Shel Silverstein

After finishing my task for the day, I browse the net to look for the story. It was very touching. Ironic in a way that how can someone be complete in the state when he or she feels like he or she is incomplete?

Let's think about this review:

"In some strange sense, we are more whole when we are incomplete. The individual who has everything is in some ways poor. The "rich" will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourich the soul with the dream of something better, to have someone love him/her enough to give the "rich" something priceless of themselves. As the rich young man in the gospel could not understand, there is a wholeness to those who can give themselves away, who can give their time, money and strngth to others and not feel diminished in doing so. There is a wholenness to those who can accept their limitations, who have learned that they are strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, who can lose something or someone and still feel complete. May we possess faith strong enough to accept ourselves as poor and incomplete in the estimation of the world but whole and rich in the treasures of God."

Source: http://home.earthlink.net/~foodforthought2/id119.html

There were some things I realized after reading.

1. Learn to be happy by yourself (but not in a negative perspective). We are created by God perfectly as an individual to enjoy His gift of Life.

2. Some people pass and go. They are a part of your journey but not a part of yourself per se. They gave you pain, lessons and experiences -- cherish that and move on.

3. We can appreciate more when we lose something.

4. In loving someone, even though you're partners, still keep in mind that you are two different individuals. He/ She doesn't complete you nor you complete him/her.

*own POV. No intention to change your beliefs and perspectives. :)

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"Huwag gumawa ng life changing decision kapag gutom." - Ramon Bautista

Acceptance

"Some things are not meant to be..."

Remember the first time we met? I was too busy at school then.

I didn't expect someone to caught my attention that time. But you were there, just barely standing inside that busy room, you got me.

Yes. The first time I saw you, I know something was different.

Other than contacting me for picking up those forms, I was not expecting anything. I talked to you casually and exchanged numbers to follow up my concern on your school.

The following day gave me goose bumps. I didn't know what to do. I felt afraid that that will be the last time we will see and talk to each other again. You handed me those papers. My hands were shaking. "Thank you" were the last words that came out of my mouth. "Good luck" you said and gave me that smile that I will never forget. I felt happy even

though I don't know when or will we ever see each other again.

That same day, we became friends through a text message. We started talking about each other's school life, family, hobbies and anything under the sun for hours. Early messages from you brought me small joys every morning. Saying good night every evening gave me a good sleep. That lasted for days, weeks and months...

Until I found out you were already taken. It was like destiny's playing with us...... or just with me. But that didn't make me like you less. In fact, I was secretly loving you every day....

You were the first who made me feel this way. Someone's caring for you everyday, asking if you're doing great or just telling me that you're already at home and not to worry because of late night commute.

I know it was wrong.

I know want I wanted to have was impossible.

Someone's there waiting for you. And you were going back to her at the end of the day.

I set my mind not to love you even more but then, my heart resisted. So I decided to continue what I feel even though I know at the end, I was the one who'll be left behind.

When you broke up with her, you ask me to be beside you as a friend. I never gave any hesitations on saying 'yes'. Those days were the best -- late night phone calls, hanging out, walking under the heat of the sun just. I was wishing not to end this beautiful thing. This was the first time.....

Until you fell in love again... but not with me... "I am happy for you" I said. Behind those words are questions running on my mind "Is there something wrong with me?"...

I accepted the fact that we can't be more than what we are now.

But life must go on. This is just a part of my journey. A part that taught me to be strong. I must thank you for making me feel I was loved. Thank you for making me feel there was one person who cares for me.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm just here. Still your friend.

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells

Getting Over

Anong mararamdaman mo kapag yung isang bagay na malapit nang matupad, bigla na lang hindi magiging totoo?

Naranasan mo na bang umasa sa isang bagay na akala mo dati, "ito na"? O di naman kaya maghintay sa paniniwalang may pag-asang mangyari ito pero sa huli, wala din?

Nakakalungkot isiping natural na sa tao ang makaramdam ng "panghihinayang". Yung iba, masyadong dinidibdib -- nagaadik, nanchichicks, nanlalalake, gastos sa mga walang katuturang mga bagay. Naisip mo na rin ba na kapag nagpatalo ka sa depresyon ng nangyari sa'yo, magiging mabuti o maganda ba ang kinalabasan ng buhay mo?

Hindi din di ba?

"Wala na namang mangyayari kung iiyakan mo. Oo, nasaktan ka, eh pagkatapos ano? Magaadik ka? HELLO! Sayang ang buhay mo. Marami ka pang pwedeng gawin."

Paano mo ito malalampasan at malilimutan yung sakit? Paano mo sisimulan muli yung masaya mong buhay?

Sa totoo lang, lahat ng iyan, ikaw lang ang makakasagot. 'Wag mong hayaan ang sarili mong makulong sa galit, lungkot at panghihinayang. Isipin mo na lang ganito:

"At some point in your life, yung bagay na pinanghihinayangan mo, nagbigay din naman ng kasiyahan sa'yo. Ginusto mo din naman silang sumali sa buhay mo. Isa pa, isipin mo na lang ang mga natutunan mong aral sa mga nangyari. Para sa susunod, alam mo na. Mas malakas ka na. Mas matalino ka nang gumawa ng mga desisyong makakapagbigay sa'yo ng matagalang kasiyahan."

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells

Wrong Timing

"Ang hirap maging babae. Kung torpe yung lalake. Kahit may gusto ka, di mo masabi."

-Pangarap lang kita by Parokya ni Edgar

Kung tutuusin, hindi lang sa pagibig madalas mahirapan ang mga babae. Actually, kahit sa pangkaraniwang araw sa buhay namin, nahihirapan din kami.

Katulad na lang kapag siksikan sa jeep, yung tipong uwing uwi ka na, pero punuan, iniisip mo, sasabit ka na lang, pero hindi pwede kasi nga babae ka. Yung tipong gusto mong mag sleeveless, kasi mainit, pero dahil hindi ka pa nagshe-shave, magti-tshirt ka na lang kasi baka makita ni crush. Yung tipong gusto mong kumain ng bongga, pero dahil conscious sa diet at isa sa pinaka end-of-the-world-statement ang "Ui, nananaba ka ata", pipilitin mo na lang mag fasting at ideprive mo ang sarili mo sa sneakers na pinaka favorite mong chocolate. Ayan at madami pang iba.

Pero eto ang matindi. Paano kapag "your day" tapos inaya ka ng mga kaibigan mong guys na mag lunch out? Dahil ikaw ang ang maiiwan sa office, "oo" na lang ang sasabihin mo. Tapos pagbaba mo ng sasakyan, biglang.... PAK! 'red alert'... anong gagawin mo? Sasarilihin mo lang ba? o ipapaalam sa kanila since nasa bahay naman kayo nuung friend mo? :|

ANG HIRAP MAGDECIDE di ba?

Sige, sasabihin ko, oo kanina lang 'to actually nangyari sakin. isipin niyo na lang ang itsura ko nung nagpapanic ako kung anong gagawin ko, di ba?

Lumapit ako dun sa isang guy na komportable akong kausap. Akala ko , bubully-hin nila ako. Hahah! (Kasi naman, kapag nacocorner nila ako, madalas, bully abot ko. Pero biruan lang yon) Ayun, na feel ko na meron akong mga Kuya this time.

"Kuya, sorry, Nahihiya talaga ako. Salamat ng marami."

"Ano ka ba? Okay lang yun no. Natural lang yan sa babae."

Buti na lang, mabait yung mom ng isa kong kaibigan. :)

Pero ako, syempre kahit ganon ang sinabi nila, di pa din ako makaget over sa nangyari. Ginawa ko na lang katatawanan, nakisabay pa din ako sa kanila at di umalis. Di ko din naramdaman na nailang sila sakin. Haaay. Sorry, natutuwa lang ako. Kasi unang beses sakin na nangyari to at napakagaan sa pakiramdam na nirerespeto ka ng mga lalaking nakapaligid sa'yo. Kahit mahirap maging babae, kung katulad nilang mga lalaki ang kasama mo, di mo mararamdamang nahihirapan ka. Sasamahan ka nila sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. Thank you papa Jesus for giving me friends like them :)

#OfficeExperience

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells