Wednesday, February 26, 2014

It is a two way road.

It's been a while since the last time I posted here on my blog.

I just feel like writing something today. I've been keeping this for a very long time maybe because I am afraid of showing what I want and what I need.

Have you ever felt something like you're a part of a circle but then after a while, little by little, you need to keep yourself away from that circle because there is something inside you sayin' "Hey, I know you love them but I think you need to pursue what you want and not what they want you to do."

There are things that don't need to be kept. Because if you do, you'll end up realizing that you're the only one fighting, keeping them and that thing doesn't even bother making an effort to work things out.

People say that maybe because you have a high standard that should be maintained, because you're a Kill Joy, because you don't what to change. But do they realize that maybe they are the one who doesn't want to change?

I don't know.

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells "Huwag gumawa ng life changing decision kapag gutom." - Ramon Bautista

Friday, June 14, 2013

Thanks, for Everything


I know this one is too cheesy. Hahaha! But I just felt like writing one.

You know what? It feels great waking up every morning knowing that there is someone smiling and happy because of you. 

These past few months, I never expect something great will happen. Late last year, I was praying to God. I was praying like, " Lord, kahit na po 'wag Niyo munang ibigay siya sakin. Kahit makilala ko lang muna, okay na po ako doon.". But His plan was different from what I want. That plan shocked me from the very first of seeing you on screen. I never thought of anything but just felt the feeling that you're nice. God make use of the people I love to make our roads cross - unusual place and time. 

You were wearing your perfectly tailored white uniform that day. I can't explain the feeling. My heart beat was at its maximum speed and for a couple of seconds; I was struck by your smile. I didn't know if that will be the first and last time of meeting you. But I was grateful. I was hopeful it wasn't.

For almost three months, I never asked for anything else. God has given me a gift which a "Thank You" is not enough. And then, I've realized that His timing is always perfect. His plans will never fail. And all He wanted is for me to be happy. He make things work differently for me to see and feel His love. We may not understand at first but we'll realize it in time. 

For you, who has given me such overflowing love since the day we first talked, thank you. I know this feeling is still vague. We're on stage of making things clear in our minds and hearts. I am afraid, afraid of everything. Afraid that things will not work out for both of us knowing that we still need to know each other well.  Apparently, the world is playing with us. The mere fact that distance keeps us from getting what we want is a hint that we need to struggle hard. But because you held my hand and made me feel that we can get through this together, I know nothing is impossible. With God's guidance, we can make things work. You already know how much gladness I feel right now because of you. I will not publicly expose everything na. (Just to make them curious about it, hahaha!) Thanks, for everything. :) 

Rheena :) 

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells "Huwag gumawa ng life changing decision kapag gutom." - Ramon Bautista

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Will He Come Soon? Trust God.

It is not just a routine to pray every night to God. For me, it is my time where I can thank Him for waking up every morning with the people I love – healthy and fine, my job, my safe travel from home to the office and all other blessings that I received from Him. I personally see prayer as a way of talking to Someone whom I can’t see but still will I give my full trust of guiding me in everything that I will do. In my darkest days, He’s the only one whom I can turn to. Talking to Him gives me relief from a fishbone stuck on my throat. I am thankful that my parents introduced me to Him.

But sometimes, emotions conquer my heart and mind when weighing up things. And when I stumble, I usually ask Him - “Why Me? Am I Bad? I didn’t hurt anyone! Why me? Why not those people who kill other people?” not realizing that this situation is just a test of faith. He will never give us something that we cannot handle. If we can’t, ask Him. And He is more willing to carry all the burden we bear.

Prayer is my armor. It is powerful in every situation you’re in. Recently, I have this dilemma of whether I will find a man that will knock me off my feet or am I destined to be on my own forever. I am 21 and people say that I am still young to look for it. I should enjoy my life first being alone because when time comes that you are fated to meet, you can never do things you used to do. But some says that I should not close the possibility to find one soon. I should experience late night calls, dates, having someone by my side (of course not a family member) when I feel low, heart breaks as early as now. Time flies so fast that you’ll never know you’re already on your mid-life and regretting things that you did not do when you’re still young. I was left confused.

I was asking God to give Him to me at the best possible time and situation. I prayed “Lord, kahit ‘wag Niyo po munang ibigay siya sakin. Kahit ipakilala Niyo lang po muna.” Then I realized, What am I praying???! I’m praying to meet someone whom, at the first place, I’ll never know if he will make or break my heart. Well I think that’s the point. The point is I greatly trust Him that He will give me someone that will stand by me through ups and downs of my life and not someone that will just be there in a short time. And if along the way there’ll be humps and heart breaks before I meet Him, I’ll trust Him. For this is a part of my journey of meeting someone worth it. A friend told me that we can always have a break but we should never stop. (Cilyn). In that way, with the help from above, we can learn and experience new things in life and when we’re ready, he will just come along our way at the most unexpected time.

I read a Facebook status yesterday “’Wag kang malungkot na di mo pa siya nakikilala kasi kahit siya, hindi pa din ganun ka sya kasi wala ka pa.” (Zayne) Just trust God because He has a bigger plan for us than what we have for ourselves.

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells
"Huwag gumawa ng life changing decision kapag gutom." - Ramon Bautista