God's Surprise

After I graduated, my instill in my mind that I should save money for my future because corporate world has a thick line between college life. It's totally different.

You cannot do the same things you used to do when you were in school -- late night out, hanging out with friends, indulging yourself to food not minding the cost because it is easy to ask money from your parents anyway, shopping and a lot more.

When you're already working, you'll always consider almost everything around you before deciding what to do. Before buying a shoes, you'll consider its quality, cost, and of course if it'll be fitted to different occasion -- office, party, meetings and conferences, so as to maximize its value. Unlike when you are in school, you have different shoes for different occasion.

Aside from working during weekdays and saturdays before lunch, I am an active member of our music ministry on our church. We usually have routine practice during saturday nights and serve during the 6pm mass the next day. It is my routine and I am enjoying it because I give back through God's given talent to me -- to sing.

There, I met new friends and buddies. I was not expecting that I'll have a big bunch of friends! They're really a blessing to me.

I'll be having my first anniversary on September this year and I think I need to think of things I'm not used to but should consider of a human being. I'm not saying I'm not happy of what am i doing, but there are time that I need to think out-of-the-box, out of my comfort zone.

Hoping that that incident will be real. I'm willing to take risk. You'll have nothing to lose anyway. If you get what you want, then good! If you'll not, at least you've gained experience and lessons.

Don't worry, if something happens, I'll post a blog soon!

I THANK GOD FOR EVERY LITTLE SURPRISES HE HAS PREPARED FOR ME EVERYDAY. :)

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells

"Huwag gumawa ng life changing decision kapag gutom." - Ramon Bautista

Completeness from being Incomplete

It was a rainy morning when a got a chance to talk to one of my office mate in our pantry. I was with a girl office mate then.

We started talking about love and relationships nowadays. Since I am not engaged to any relationship before, I got interested when he told us points on entering one someday.

Yes. I am proud to say -- I am 20. I am single. And I am happy.

We shared stories and viewpoints. Until he suggested a short story to read and ponder --- "The Missing Piece" by Shel Silverstein

After finishing my task for the day, I browse the net to look for the story. It was very touching. Ironic in a way that how can someone be complete in the state when he or she feels like he or she is incomplete?

Let's think about this review:

"In some strange sense, we are more whole when we are incomplete. The individual who has everything is in some ways poor. The "rich" will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourich the soul with the dream of something better, to have someone love him/her enough to give the "rich" something priceless of themselves. As the rich young man in the gospel could not understand, there is a wholeness to those who can give themselves away, who can give their time, money and strngth to others and not feel diminished in doing so. There is a wholenness to those who can accept their limitations, who have learned that they are strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, who can lose something or someone and still feel complete. May we possess faith strong enough to accept ourselves as poor and incomplete in the estimation of the world but whole and rich in the treasures of God."

Source: http://home.earthlink.net/~foodforthought2/id119.html

There were some things I realized after reading.

1. Learn to be happy by yourself (but not in a negative perspective). We are created by God perfectly as an individual to enjoy His gift of Life.

2. Some people pass and go. They are a part of your journey but not a part of yourself per se. They gave you pain, lessons and experiences -- cherish that and move on.

3. We can appreciate more when we lose something.

4. In loving someone, even though you're partners, still keep in mind that you are two different individuals. He/ She doesn't complete you nor you complete him/her.

*own POV. No intention to change your beliefs and perspectives. :)

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells

"Huwag gumawa ng life changing decision kapag gutom." - Ramon Bautista

Acceptance

"Some things are not meant to be..."

Remember the first time we met? I was too busy at school then.

I didn't expect someone to caught my attention that time. But you were there, just barely standing inside that busy room, you got me.

Yes. The first time I saw you, I know something was different.

Other than contacting me for picking up those forms, I was not expecting anything. I talked to you casually and exchanged numbers to follow up my concern on your school.

The following day gave me goose bumps. I didn't know what to do. I felt afraid that that will be the last time we will see and talk to each other again. You handed me those papers. My hands were shaking. "Thank you" were the last words that came out of my mouth. "Good luck" you said and gave me that smile that I will never forget. I felt happy even

though I don't know when or will we ever see each other again.

That same day, we became friends through a text message. We started talking about each other's school life, family, hobbies and anything under the sun for hours. Early messages from you brought me small joys every morning. Saying good night every evening gave me a good sleep. That lasted for days, weeks and months...

Until I found out you were already taken. It was like destiny's playing with us...... or just with me. But that didn't make me like you less. In fact, I was secretly loving you every day....

You were the first who made me feel this way. Someone's caring for you everyday, asking if you're doing great or just telling me that you're already at home and not to worry because of late night commute.

I know it was wrong.

I know want I wanted to have was impossible.

Someone's there waiting for you. And you were going back to her at the end of the day.

I set my mind not to love you even more but then, my heart resisted. So I decided to continue what I feel even though I know at the end, I was the one who'll be left behind.

When you broke up with her, you ask me to be beside you as a friend. I never gave any hesitations on saying 'yes'. Those days were the best -- late night phone calls, hanging out, walking under the heat of the sun just. I was wishing not to end this beautiful thing. This was the first time.....

Until you fell in love again... but not with me... "I am happy for you" I said. Behind those words are questions running on my mind "Is there something wrong with me?"...

I accepted the fact that we can't be more than what we are now.

But life must go on. This is just a part of my journey. A part that taught me to be strong. I must thank you for making me feel I was loved. Thank you for making me feel there was one person who cares for me.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm just here. Still your friend.

Follow me on twitter @rheenabells